


lumenflower gardens

by hyacinthis



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bloodborne - Freeform, F/F, Little comfort, blobby head things, blobby things, blood saint, from software - Freeform, hurt/some comfort, lady maria of the astral clock tower, old hunter’s dlc, research hall patients, saint adeline - Freeform, the hunter’s nightmare, the research hall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 05:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16079780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthis/pseuds/hyacinthis
Summary: She takes Adeline’s hands one last time and places something cold in them.“Here.” She says softly. “For you. I know you love the way they smell.”





	lumenflower gardens

All of it is still so fairly new to her. She finds herself walking around in a daze sometimes, blown away by the hideous transformations these poor patients went through. Grotesque, sickening transformations. It hurt her to look at. But, nevertheless, Maria held their hands and murmured words of kindness where she saw fit.

_I am here to look after you._

_I will be here for you, to embolden your sickly spirit._

_Shut your eyes, let me stand close._

They were phrases the uttered like clockwork now, phrases to relieve them of the emotional turmoil they experienced. Still, she didn’t feel like it was enough. She felt like there was more she could do.

They call her a guardian angel. A saint amongst the research hall. They adore her, but Maria still feels like it isn’t enough. She’s at a loss for what more she can do.

It just gets harder and harder as things go on.

She isn’t afraid to admit that it’s something that takes a toll on her. Albeit, she would never admit it out loud. But deep down she knows that seeing these patients in such distress, physically and psychologically, it’s getting to be too much for her.

Maria is holding the patient’s hand when he passes. He weeps and gasps for air, begs for Maria to stay by his side. He clutches her hand as his chest rises and falls dramatically.

“I… Can continue living…. Lady Maria… I just…” He cuts himself off with a shallow sob. “I just need time…”

“I know, you are so strong.” Maria whispers. He only has minutes left.

“Please… Lady Maria, do not leave.” 

“I am right here, by your side.”

It feels like an eternity before he finally passes. His hand goes limp in hers and she leaves him. She feels sick to her stomach, she feels it crawling up her throat as she leaves the room. Hot tears press behind her eyelids and, deep down, she feels ashamed. 

She’s out of it. She feels like she’s leaving her body. So much so, that she doesn’t even realize when she bumps into someone scurrying down the halls. 

“Oh my Gods,” Maria composes herself quickly. “Adeline, I am terribly sorry.”

“Please, don’t worry about me.” She smiles, pushing brunette curls from her face. “You seem to be in quite a rush. Is something going on, Lady Maria?”

“Oh, no.” She smiles. “Just a little clumsy today is all.”

Maria’s eyes scan Adeline’s face. She’s pale. Much more pale than she was the last time she saw her. She notices that her arms have been bandaged, blood seeping through some of them. She’s weak, the way she stands has started to mimic that of patients too far gone.

The treatment is finally taking its toll on her.

Adeline takes a step towards the taller woman, her brown eyes furrowed in concern. Maria feels wasn’t and she feels her eyes start to sting again. She can keep herself together. She must. Perfect guardian Lady Maria mustn’t let her patients see her cry.

She doesn’t want them to feel guilty.

“Maria,” Adeline says in a low whisper. “Are you alright? What is it?”

Maria stares down at her for a long moment before she inhales. She offers the blood saint a tired smile, then pulls a key from her pocket. 

“Would you like to go sit in the gardens with me?”

Adeline gives her another, more concerned look, but nods all the same.

“I may be a little weak on my feet, though.”

“Oh, that won’t bother me.”

Maria offers Adeline her arm and she gently takes it, wrapping both of her skinny arms around Maria’s. The walk to the garden doors and Maria unlocks it then carefully guides Adeline down the stairs. They find themselves a patch of ground to sit on, surrounded by flowers.

And if Maria tries hard enough, she can imagine that she and Adeline are somewhere else.

“What is on your mind, Lady Maria?” Adeline immediately asks once they sit down.

Maria shakes her head, removing her hunter’s cap to let her hair down. The breeze blowing through it is a borderline euphoric feeling. She leans back on her arms and closes her eyes. She sits silently, pretending that she and Adeline are in the Royal Cainhurst Gardens that Maria grew up playing in. Her lower lip trembles and she hates herself.

She starts to loathe herself when she feels the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Are you still positive about going through with the blood treatment?” Maria asks.

In the short time Maria and Adeline have known each other, they have formed a connection. Before Adeline began her treatment, she assisted Maria with patients. They bonded and laughed and smiled despite the miserable atmosphere around them. Adeline transported Maria to another world.

It was the night they sat in the clock tower and drank themselves stupid that Maria realized she was in love with her. Without really meaning to at all, she had leaned forward and pressed her lips to Adeline’s. They felt like rose petals and she tasted like stale wine. But, Maria wouldn’t have had it any other way.

When Adeline made the decision to become a blood saint, Maria wept. The death and devastation around them wasn’t something Maria thought would keep her from making a decision like that. She couldn’t stand to see Adeline, her Adeline, turn into what their patients were.

“Yes,” Adeline says quietly. “It’s something I have committed to, I am not turning back now. Can you imagine what a disappointment I would be?”

“You’re only two months into the treatment,” Maria says. “You have time. It would take some work, but we could get you back to how you were before.”

“Maria, it’s…” The blood saint inhales deeply. “It’s what I want. Please, I know it’s hard for you, but try to understand.”

Maria squeezes her eyes shut so hard that she sees stars. She has cried very seldom in her lifetime, even after entering the nightmare. But it’s a different story when it comes to her feelings about Adeline. Maria has developed quite a soft spot for the young woman.

“I _am_ trying, Adeline. I am trying, I swear, I...” Maria stops herself and puts a hand over her mouth.

She feels Adeline’s thin arms wrap around her shoulders. She pulls Maria close and cards her fingers through champagne blonde hair. Maria weeps, just like the night that Adeline broke the news to her. She tries so hard to stop, to at least control it a little bit. But she can’t. She’s gone.

She reaches up and takes hold of one of Adeline’s hands. She brings it to her lips and presses kisses to the back of it over and over as tears continue to cascade down her pale cheeks. It _hurts_. It hurts so deeply that Maria feels like she may die.

“Maria,” Adeline soothes. “My marvelous Maria, hush. There is no need for such tears.”

Maria opens her mouth to argue, but decides against it. She just presses her face into Adeline’s chest, relishing what time they have together. There’s no telling how much longer Adeline may or may not live.

Maria’s cheeks have begun to flush red from the tears. She cries so hard that the tears just stop all together. Adeline is kind enough to offer her a handkerchief.

She’s laying in Adeline’s lap as she braids her lightly colored locks of hair, humming an old lullaby Maria would hum to her patients. Maria sits up and wipes her eyes and her nose, then grabs her hat and places it back on her head.

“Today,” Maria starts shakily. “I held a patient’s hand as he died. And as he was dying, he begged me not to leave him. He begged me to… To help him.There was nothing I could do. I just sat there and held his hand and fed lies to him.”

Adeline stares at Maria, a distant stare that the other woman is very unfamiliar with.

“And I love you, Adeline.” She continues. “I _adore you_. You are my world and my sun and my stars… I want you to do what makes you happy.”

“Thank you.” She says quietly.

“But I do not want to hold your hand and watch you die.”

The words are strained when they come out of Maria’s mouth. Strained and tense, heavy with sadness. She inhales slowly and hands Adeline her handkerchief.

“I love you too much to watch you lose your mind like they do.”

It’s a talk they’ve had before. Usually, Maria screams and yells and begs for Adeline to change her mind. She swears to her they can somehow make a home of this hell. A home for the two of them where they can be happy and revel in each other’s warmth and love. She drinks and drinks and drinks until she doesn’t remember the conversations and they happen again, the exact same way.

But, this conversation is different. Maria is tired. Adeline can see it in her eyes. They hold the soul of a broken woman. A woman who has tried so hard and for nothing. Maria is tired of having this conversation, she is tired of her pleas falling on deaf ears

Adeline sees now, it’s a final attempt. 

“I am sorry, Maria, but my mind cannot be changed.”

“I understand,” Maria nods. “I expected you to say as much.”

They stare at each other for a long time. All of the color has been flushed from Adeline’s face and she’s getting thinner. She looks sickly. She was once such a lively woman. Occasionally, Maria isn’t sure if this is even the Adeline she fell in love with.

“My lady,” Adeline says. “You have dark circles under your eyes. Have you been sleeping?”

Maria doesn’t answer. She just continues to stare at Adeline with her icy blue eyes. She slowly takes Adeline’s hands and holds them in hers, silently marveling at how small they are. She presses kisses to the backs of them again then holds both of them to her cheeks.

“Just know, that when they finally strap you down,” Maria says quietly. “And you can’t go anywhere. I will still bring you flowers and wine. I will still brush your hair and when you have no more hair to brush, I will still tell you how beautiful you are to me. I will still kiss your forehead and your cheeks and your lips. I will still love you all the same.”

She pauses for a long moment, squeezing Adeline’s hands momentarily, as if she’s afraid she might disappear. 

“It’s just painful. Try to understand.”

The clock towers begins to sound, one ominous bell after the other. Then, suddenly, from within the research hall Maria hears her name being frantically called. She looks towards the garden door and sighs deeply.

She stands and helps Adeline up as well. She wraps her arms around her small middle and presses a warm, loving kiss to her lips. She holds it for as long as she can before pulling away. She takes Adeline’s hands one last time and places something cold in them.

“Here.” She says softly. “For you. I know you love the way they smell.”

Then, she leaves and Adeline stands in the gardens alone.

**Author's Note:**

> fjshdhsh this is the first lady maria oriented thing i’ve ever written and idk if i like it :/  
> lmk what you guys thought in the comments!!


End file.
